If you are escaping and complaining more recently, you may enter into a state of sub-loser mentality. Any one can be a loser unwittingly, but it’s also possible to be a better man. How do you define a loser? And how to get rid of the name of loser?

You must have heard the word LOSER. According to any dictionary, loser means a person or a team who failed in a game or a competition, or aka “nobody”. And today what we are talking about more frequently is the guy who failed to get into the social network or a man who can’t find a right relationship, or in another words, a man who can’t get a successful life.

Loser is not an inborn gene in one’s body, it’s a failed result of in-exertion, or we may say, laziness. Losers are everywhere, on the Internet, in that street corner, or, no offence, maybe the man who is reading this story. To say, if one not works hard, he could be a loser soon. How to check if one is a loser or not?

Here are some loser characteristics you may refer to:

1. Losers are complaining about everything.

They always talking like:

  1. Peter gets a nice boss, and my boss is just stingy and mean.
  2. Peter grew up in a good family and my parents are still paying loans.
  3. Peter get a new Cherry keyboard from the boss, why not me? Peter and me are doing the same work.

Why Peter?(see note)

Pic via:inspower

Loser like use “unchangeable objective environmental factors” to cover their incompetence. At first hearing, these words sound like reasonable; But after a second thought, their excuses are bullsh*t. Actually, other people’s success is incidental. Losers accuse their failure to bad luck, so they choose to complain about anything that can’t follow their will.

This is the most common characteristic of a loser.

2. Loser are escapists.

Loser choose to escape, they have no guts to face the reality. We can find all kinds of losers in any community. Like some Tom next door choose play video game to escape from going out to work.

They won’t admit some one who has done big things all by their efforts. Loser won’t believe that guy is younger than him who has shallow seniority has done great things. They don’t want to compare normal to other’s excellence. So, guess what, they choose to cover eyes and ears.

Piv via: Escape Plan from technologytell

And losers believe that there always some worse than him. But actually, anyone who works hard could do better than losers.

3. Losers can’t face any challenges or difficulties.

And they won’t admit that they are escaping from challenges because they have plenty of excuses like:

  1. You only give me that little pay check, why let me do more works?
  2. Jimmy get a higher salary, why not give this task to him?
  3. This work is out of my business, please don’t bother me, okay?
  4. I am already off duty now, that client can wait.
Pic via: theescaperoom

Losers always think they have the same ability to other guys and they believe harder tasks should be done by other guys. But if you think in employer’s position, why a boss gives his employee a higher salary? For his ability or for his wage-hiking email? Losers thinks the employer choose the later one, but in real life, bosses give his employees higher salary are all based on one ability and skill.

In loser’s eyes, he has a lower salary, lower management level, which give him the excuse to escape from touching harder tasks and he just wait for a wage-hike. But life tells us that, escapists have no opportunity.

4. Losers have no targets.

No, no, that’s not a good subtitle. Loser do have targets,

“God, let me win a 100 million lottery.” “Increase my salary, please.” “I want a nicer team leader.” “Job-hopping to that company may be great, I heard my high school classmate is a manager there, he may help me.” “Hum, learn some interview tricks may help me entering into a good enterprise.”

These are hopes not targets!!!

Pic Via: Business2Community

They always want some big man to guide and support them. But this situation is rare to happen and talent scouts were no where to be found. So, they choose to leave with no targets, no big targets.

5. Loser are overcautious.

Pessimistic person are of the same, they worried too much things:

  1. What if I lost my job?
  2. What if the government changed some policies?
  3. What if my workmate quit his job?
Piv Via: Kenny Louie(flickr)

Losers always want a well-prepared plan, but while trying to plan well, he lost too many opportunities.

Sometimes, you may find, after your college graduation, the one who has the best future is the one performed worst in class. He may not find a well paid job at first, but he was good at changing roles. While working, he learnt and learnt and gradually changed his position. Finally, he became a startup founder with 100 employees. What he achieved has nothing to do with his college study but what he learnt in the society.

Losers are not dare to do so, he was afraid to lose any chance. But the fear controlled him not to make the right choice, and then led a pathetic life.

You know what, get rid of the name of LOSER would bring you a lot of benefits:

it can change you attitude, makes you a rational and smart man;

it can live you healthy and successful life;

it can help you find a nice girlfriend or boyfriend;

it can give you a good relationship with your coworkers;

it can make you more social in a party and makes you a lot of new friends;

it can make you willing to forgive people’s mistakes;

it can let you be more responsible to anything that related to you;

it can find you some new ideas and may make you a big fortune;

it can help you to accept challenge and difficulties more easily;

it …. just let you be a better man/woman.

Here is advice for you

Reading is a medicine, it can cure sluggard to work and cure vulgar to be elegant.(translated from: 善读书一可医愚使人会办事,二可医俗让人更儒雅)

Knowledge makes a full man.

In China, there is an ancient saying Reading is a medicine, it can cure sluggard to work and cure vulgar to be elegant.(善读书一可医愚使人会办事,二可医俗让人更儒雅)

And Francis Bacon said Reading make a full man.

So here is our first advice, to read. Reading gives you two parts of knowledge:first part, the professional knowledge. These are knowledge from famous professors or researchers. Buy some book from Amazon or Nook, or if you don’t want to read book in subway, try to watch video course from Harvard University — — Positive Psychology(below). These knowledge let you know what is positive attitude, then you will know how to reverse the loser mentality.

And the second part of knowledge is to let you know how did you grow a loser mentality. Read some novels, try to find how the characters became the man/women he/she hated. The mentality were influenced by many factors, such as family environment, parents professionals, or mental trauma in one’s childhood and etc. Then you will find those factors were wrong, you need to change you attitude and try to accept correct ideas.

Try write diary or blogger or private tweets.

After you know what is right and what is wrong in you mind, put the right behavior into real life.

Pic Via: wikihow

Record what you have done after the day was finished, and give yourself a review. By doing so, a self-reposition work is in progress. However, if you don’t write them down, you will never know what isactually block your steps, what is changing your mind. Buy a notebook or set up a new private Twitter account will help. Tweets everything that you want to say but don’t want your family and friends find.

A few days or weeks later, read what you have tweet or wrote, you will find that you have achieved a great progress and your next target.

Work out and read great books.

You may find the Advice 2 is hard to take action, right? Now you need is to work out. Take some excises is a good way to achieve target. For example, if you run 30 mins a day, a few days later you will have the feeling that “ I can control my life!”, that is different to loser mentality.

When you are ready to drop your target again, go to read some biographies of great men/women. Their stories will tell you how to tackle when a problem occurred. Copy what they had done and adjust your mind to hold on to that target. Okay, keep on reading Tech-News-In-China is also a good way :P.

Those big guys will help you.

Find yourself a target and put in practice.

Go out and talk to people if you have read more than 5 great book mentioned above. Now you are strong enough to talk to strangers to share your mind with them. And then, find yourself a new life target. If you can’t have a new target immediately, then try to recall what you haven’t realized in your childhood.

Such as “I wanna run through this city.” “I want to be a racing driver.” “Go to NASA and see a rocket launch.” “Make a purposal to my girlfriend.” And then, make some plan and do it!

Great things do fail but don’t lose your heart!

Getting rid of Loser mentality is a hard progress, during that period you may face many difficulties. And even though you tried our advice, you may fail too.

Any success is a spiral escalation progress. You were not failing, you were collecting experiences. Your next start point won’t be the one that you started originally.

Tell your brain, it’s okay to be fail. Hold on! You will finally become someone.

Keep on following Tech-News-In-China, we keep on providing great stories. May you glad to read this story. If you have any suggestion or any kind of word you want to talk to use, try connect us on Twitter: @TechNewsInChina .